I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
