I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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