The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
