Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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