He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
