Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
