Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize