Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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