Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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