i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wanna passion pit in your ass
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.