In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.