Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
