she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes