people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
