dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
