New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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