My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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