Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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