I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
