Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
