my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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