this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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