One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she looked like the before picture.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
