Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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