He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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