Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
