He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize