just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
