In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
time to smoke my breakfast
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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