How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
