There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
