So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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