my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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