Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
