That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
