Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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