my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
