put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
