So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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