The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
