Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wish you could order shots online.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
