Only a mothe r could love this liver
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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