girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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