It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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