yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
