We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
