A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
