Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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