anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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