New invention idea: vibrating tampons
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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