Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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