I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
