so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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