mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
