I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
