we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
