I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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