someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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