She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
