No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
