i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
How external is "for external use only"?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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