i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have feelings that need drinking.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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