Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize