Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
