Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
