the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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