I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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