There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
