chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
