Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
